My wee man is indeed an award-winning baker, an event he
looks forward to is the Big Biology Day at Staffordshire University that coincides
with Big Biology Week. His favourite part (aside from visiting the labs) is the
‘Great Biology Bake Off’ and his niche is ‘gross bakes,’ perfect to try at
These are fun and easy bakes for anyone to try, so if poop or snot cake tickles your taste buds, read on for the recipes. *Disclaimer, I’m an old-fashioned baker and don’t really weigh, I rely on my senses and I urge you to do the same, does it look, smell, taste right? Then it’s probably right.
Bristol Stool Chart Cake
Sponge 1/3 cup cocoa powder 6 tbsp boiling water 2/3 cup soft butter 1 and 1/3 cup caster sugar 3 large free-range eggs 4fl oz milk 1.5 cups self-raising flour 1 tsp baking powder Topping Chocolate frosting Double Decker Lion Bar Cluster Galaxy Ripple Chocolate buttons to melt Maltesers Chocolate nibbles This recipe made a rectangular tray bake, first cream together the butter and sugar, then mix in your ‘wet’ ingredients before sifting in the fry ingredients. Give a real good mix and pour into your lined baking tray 175c fan oven for about 25 minutes Snot/Halloween Loaf Cake
· 2 cups caster sugar · 3 generous dessert spoons of honey · 4 cups self raising flour · 1/4 teaspoon baking powder · 1 teaspoon vanilla extract · 400ml milk · 150ml vegetable oil This cake can be made vegan if you use soy milk (I have found the sweetened version best). To make the snot cake you will want to make 2 batches of this so you have 2 loaves to work with. One loaf will be the bridge of the nose, the other will be cut in half for the nostrils. We used doweling to stick the nostrils on either side. We also cheated with the icing… we brought a block of pink icing to roll out and place over the cakes, we fixed this on with a spread of lemon curd. To make the snot you simply need the remainder of the lemon curd mixed with green food colouring. For the Halloween load, we used shop purchased Halloween decorations. The loaves were popped in the oven on 175c fan assisted for 30 mins, then covered with foil for a remaining 9 minutes. Cow Pat Cake
This was a delight, but equally felt like a show stopper. The cow pat cake itself was the chocolate fudge cake with shop brought chocolate frosting. The biscuits were a plain vanilla biscuit and the flowers were shop brought placed onto our homemade brownie! I purposefully kept the cakes a bit gooey, so on 175c fan assisted these were in for approximately 25 minutes. The biscuits were in for 15 minutes. For the chocolate fudge cake you will need: 2 cups of self-raising flour ½ cup cocoa powder 1 250g bar of dark chocolate 2 cups light muscovado sugar 1 cup butter 4 eggs eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract For the biscuits you will need: 1 cup caster sugar 2 cups plain flour (sifted) 1 cup of butter melted 1tsp vanilla extract 1tsp of baking powder A pinch of salt 1 egg For the brownie you will need: 1/2 cup butter 1 cup caster sugar 2 eggs 1tsp vanilla extract 1 cup cocoa powder ½ cup flour Pinch of salt 2 tablespoons water
Hopefully this gives you an idea of all you need to make some gross bakes this Halloween, courtesy of wee man. You’re welcome.